The issue I chose to discuss in my previous blog is just one I felt was prominent in my life. The fact is though that different people will all have different issues and as a result tend to act out in different ways. As a student of life I find it interesting to observe peoples behaviors and contemplate on what I think there motivations are. I never find it necessary to fill a person in on what I believe it is that drives them, nor do I discuss things of that nature with the people around me. Talking to a person about someone elses defects isn't meant to help anyone, but more so its to make myself feel more superior then the person in question. Acting in that manner is just another intricate part of this spiritual disease that is present in a lot of people inside and outside of recovery. No ones perfect though and occasionally we all may feel the need to gossip rising up inside of us. What I try to remember is this if I don't open my mouth then my mouth can't get me in trouble. Ofcourse we are social creatures and to go through life not speaking just wouldn't do. How then would we make friends, start relationships not to mention do our jobs and make a living.
For me I believe that practice is the key, I try to think before I act or speak. I try and remember that love cultivates love and that hate only cultivates more of the same. Jesus said "To love thy neighbor." The best way for me to accomplish this is to think of everyone as a child of god. This makes everyone I meet my brother or sister. I remember that sometimes siblings dissagree or argue about one thing or another, but at the end of the day they their still family. I have to remember " principles before personalities." There's an older gentleman at one of my meetings that allways says would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? I choose to be happy today and its allways my choice. I choose to forgive those that trespass against me as I myself would wish to be forgiven.
These are some of the things I try to practice on a daily basis, yet I know I fall short. That's o.k. though because I'm human and I'm allowed to make mistakes. Its progress not perfection. When I make a mistake I try and look at what was behind my making that mistake. This is what the 10th step is for. unless I change the way I've allways done things I'm destined to make the same mistakes I've allways made. Unless I change I'll never know peace. The end result I'm after is to be happy, joyous and free. If I fail to achieve this result I will most likely use again and for me to use is to die. That's why for us addicts it's either "change or die." Believe me when I tell you that dieing ain't much of a living. Alot of what I write about is meant to help myself and anyone else that's interested to facilitate this change. One thing I would like to make clear is that I'm definitely not a saint. I'm just an addict thats trying to practice certain principles in all of his affairs. The Big Book states that " the spiritual life is not a theory we have to live it." I've put that to the test and ended up getting high again.
The void I wrote about in my previous blog can't be filled with material things I've tried. We are spiritual beings that is why the solution to our problem is a spiritual one. I've heard that there are as many definitions for the word spiritual as there are people that try and define it. For me spirituality is simply being at peace with myself and the world around me. In my experience this peace can only come from a trusting relationship with my higher power. On this Easter day and every day I want to remember that GOD IS GOOD! ALL THE TIME! Where ever I go I want to bring god with me. If I'm God-centered today then I won't be self-centered today. I'd like to wish all the bloggers out there a very happy easter and as my mother would say let's try and make it a better day for someone else.
God bless us all, Bob
Great post, Bob. Love your site and your thoughts for the day. Keep up the great work! Wendi
Posted by: Wendi | March 28, 2005 at 07:34 AM